As I lay here in my bed thinking of everything I could have been or should I say done. I feel the need to ask for forgiveness. From who I don't know. I failed you I feel like. I wanted so much to see my Lord will come to fulfillment. Did I rush it, was(is) this training for what is to come. Oh Lord my God everything I worked so hard on is (has) fallen apart. Lord was this all in vain. Father you have told me time and time again to be still, and this time I thought that you said move go now is the time. Was I hearing you or was that my will so loud I could not hear your wisper calling out saying peace be still.
What do I do now? I have steped away. I am pulling back. I want you more then ever to move in my life. I'm sorry please lord forgive me for taking the road I have. Use all the chuncks of junk and make them into a master peice. Lord how I want to know you. Keep me in your loving hands and hold me and my family up.
Oh so ture not my will but thy will be done. I miss you and love you. Peace be still.